She Would Be Four

Today marks another birthday that we are not having with our sweet Addison!  We were able to celebrate her first birthday and that's it.  I'm realizing that we will always have days that are just plain tough and they are not only the birthdays.  The other day I was leaving school and I just lost it.  I'm driving in the car and nothing triggered the memory.  Sometimes a song will come on or I'll see something and that will get the tears flowing.  That day I just pictured her poking her head around a hospital wall in her little capris and Toms, just like it was yesterday.  I miss her SO much!  I wonder what she would look like and what she would be into.  It just stinks!!

First Birthday

This is the memory

I'm so thankful that we have so many pictures and videos of her.  One of my favorite things to do is look through old pictures and watch the videos I have of her and her brother.  That way, I'll never forget the sound of their voices and all of the little and big things we did together.  You learn real quick, there is no such thing as too many pictures!!  We have pictures that show everything that Addison was and everything that she loved.  She was such a sweet girl with a lot of "Addi-tude"!  She loved bows, bracelets, and books.  AND her absolute favorite…Mr. G!  We didn't go anywhere without him!!  I miss her dancing, smiles, laughs, and most of all her hugs and kisses!!

She went everywhere with Mr. G

Up to something

The girl LOVED shoes…just like her mommy!

Cutie Pie

Hanging with Brody and TJ

Who can I call???

Day before her defibrillator surgery

Always happy…look at those heart scars, but more importantly look at that SMILE!

So many people ask us how we do it…how we get up in the morning and live life.  The only answer I have is the big guy upstairs.  God is the only way I think anyone can get through something like this.  I remember getting in the car after the funeral and looking at Darrell and saying, "Now I know how some parents never get through something like this."  If I felt the way I did in that moment every day, I totally understand!  We have FAITH & HOPE…truthfully, that's what got us through the months we waited anxiously for a new heart and what is getting us through the life we are living now.  He is our everything and who we lean on always!!