After Cade passed away, someone told me, "Susie, time will heal your heart." The truth is, that is NOT a true statement. Time does not heal your heart. This is the second birthday we are celebrating without him, and therefore 365 days have passed. This birthday is not "easier". My heart still hurts.
Birthdays are all about the person who you are celebrating. In our family, the whole day is about them. When that person isn't here anymore, it is still all about him or her, but it's SO much harder because you don't have them to hug or love on. You wonder what you would be doing if they were here. I wonder what kind of party Cade would have wanted. I wonder what gifts he would have asked for. I wonder what new friends would have joined us from his school. I wonder if he would still get embarrassed when I danced around and sang "Happy Birthday" to him. There are many things I wonder about.
But, do you know what I don't wonder about? I don't wonder if Cade misses me and his daddy. I don't wonder if he would rather be here than in Heaven. And I don't wonder if Cade is happy. I don't wonder about these things because GOD heals my heart, NOT time. I know Cade is happy because he is with our Heavenly Father who loves all of us more than anyone else does. And that is what makes my heart happy!
Big days of the year will always be hard and emotional because we are missing such a big piece of our life. But when I think about the day that I get to spend eternity with my Lord and Savior and Cade, how can I not be overwhelmed with joy!
Happy Birthday sweet boy! We think about you every day and smile when we think about all of the memories we were able to make with you. We love you right up to the moon and back, Caderader!!
Happy Birthday Cade! Still wearing our red bracelets, everyday, never taken them off. Think of you all often & say prayers for all of you everyday!
ReplyDeleteKatiann
Kate Thorne Designs
I never told you but I always thought your little Cade was the most handsome little boy ever!! He was surely to melt girls hearts! ;) I secretly even hoped that our Atianna would grow "fond" of him as they grew up! LOL!
ReplyDeleteYou guys are close to our heartstrings and think of you often as our two oldest ones are so close in age to yours. Atianna always makes a point to stop and ponder in front of their little tree at the YMCA! Their tree has become a reminder to cherish the moments we have together. Your family pictures and stories are evidence that you guys cherished your children well for the time that the Lord blessed you with them! Imagine eternity together! Your faith and hope for what God has in store for you on the other side will serve as your balm for the scar of loss on your heart! Like you said the scar will never go away but God carries you through day by day! With love....
Garcia Family
You both continue to be in my prayers along with your parents because as a mom of a precious angel who was almost 8mths when he passed away and now a grandmother of 3 children. My heart completely understands your heart. I will not say that I know what you are going through. However I can only imagine your loss. I do understand the pain because I have lived with this pain for almost 19yrs. My son was born with a congenital heart deffect and he passed away 5days before his 8mth old birthday. I treasure each and everyday with my grandchildren because I know how very short life can be. I pray for you often especially the mom because although I don't minimize my husbands pain loosing my son, still a mother carries the baby 9mths and then nomatter how much my husband wanted to help me with his well being, I had to do it all. So I know that bond I had with my son. I tell people I had him for 17mths counting each day I had him. But sorry I have gone into my own life. I just want to say you will always grieve your baby & husband and that is OK. However as long as we grieve with hope &faith that we will reunite with our loved ones, that is all OK. We are human and we miss them and we want them now but God our father will reunite us with them in the name of his son our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ. My prayers for you and your family.
ReplyDeletelove,
NaniRios
I'm so sorry. I suffer from memory problems and I have been following your story and the one of another woman who lost a husband and a twin baby, so that is why I said your baby & husband, but I meant to say both your babies Cade and Addi. Again I don't compare myself to you because I feel your pain is double mine but non the less we both have something in common. The loss of a child. God Bless you,
ReplyDeleteNani
Again, so beautifully said. You have a way with words and I thank you for continuing to share these thoughts and memories with all of us. Not a day goes by that I don't think of Cade and Addi and you and Darrell. I know today is hard for you and your closest family and I just hope that all of our prayers and thoughts can offer some comfort. Your babies have made a lasting impact on not only myself but countless others. You are such an inspiration and I'm honored to call you a friend.
ReplyDeleteSusie, you are so precious to so many, like me, who don't even know you, but more importantly to our Father.
ReplyDelete